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Pelvic Pain Question, Answers and Sex Advice
Sexual Intercourse Advice |
Here is my problem, my wife is having pelvic pain during sex.
I am a married man; 28 yrs. old; 6'2" tall and between 180-185lbs. I can be described as a compulsive dieter. I feel much better about myself when I am at the desired weight, but when I do lose the undesired fat the outer ends of my pelvic bone tend to stick out which has brought interference when my wife and I engage in sexual intercourse. For example when I am in the traditional "missionary"
sex position I bring discomfort to my wife because the two ends of my pelvic bone are ramming into her hip/pelvic area. This can be applicable when she is on top of me (yet less uncomfortable). If I gain 5-10lbs this is no longer a problem, but then my pants waist essentially tells me that I am too fat. Is there a balance? Should I pad these areas? Should I resort to a form of surgery? What is your advice?
- J.
There are lots of approaches to this that will all require experimentation and communication. In other words, try something, talk about it, try something else, talk about it, and so on. Here a few ideas you could try:
You mentioned trying missionary and her on top. Have you tried other sex positions as well? There are more variations than there are days in the year, and certainly some will work for you.
You could definitely try using padding. Next time you're on top, try laying a light pillow across the area that's hurting her. If it seems to help, experiment with other items like a folded up towel or blanket. There's pillows and pads of all different shapes out there so look around keep trying different ones.
Try putting a pillow under the lower back of whoever's on the bottom. This will change your angle quite a bit and could make a huge difference.
As far as surgery, I wouldn't even consider it until you've tried at least two million different ideas first. Then, and only then, talk to your doctor about the different options. And don't talk to the doctor who may perform the surgery as you may find one with a gambling debt and a late mortgage. Talk to your trusted family physician first.
Keep in mind one last thing. 5-10 pounds over a perfect weight doesn't really matter that much to anyone other than those people who are "compulsive dieters." Women are far less critical then men when it comes to their partner's body. As long as you remain healthy, your wife would probably choose better sex and increased intimacy over you obsessing over something as insignificant as a 5 pound weight gain.
It's important for your sex life and relationship that her pelvic pain during
sexual intercourse is eliminated.
—Abby
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