Foreplay

Are you ready to really tell your lover what you want to do to him or her, but you're scared you'll blush and ruin the whole thing? Why do you think telephones were invented?

There's nothing safer to start with than using somebody else's words. If you're not ready to tell your partner your fantasies yourself, invest in an erotic book and try reading your lover a story at bedtime. We'd suggest getting a collection of stories like The Erotic Edge or Delta of Venus.

Tell your partner how much you love their various body parts, their eyes, the way your partner looks at you when you make love, and the way he or she smells. Praise all the things about him or her you really do love, and praise those body parts while caressing or kissing them. Remember, though, there's always the chance that this will make your partner self conscious, so stay aware. Pay attention to how your partner is reacting. Is he or she responding and getting excited or are they giggling and seeming uncomfortable?

Have you ever watched Striptease and thought, "Why the hell am I watching this movie?" And then, perhaps, "I've always wanted to spin around a pole like that." Would you be surprised to know you're not alone?

The truth is, most women I've talked to have, at one time or another, fantasized about being a stripper. Many have even tried out some moves on their lovers. Sound like fun? It is! A striptease is a great way to show your partner how sexy you think you are, and believe me, he or she will agree.

Step 1: Preparation

This is when you start talking dirty. One note, by the way: when you're talking about sexual acts with your partner in bed, you should use the words that will really turn you both on. If more hard-core words for sexual acts get you going, use those. But if softer descriptions are more comfortable, stick to those. There are four ways to go here:

What's more important to you, all the time you spend working or the time you spend with your partner?

With all the stress we have in our lives, we need to just take some time for ourselves and relax with our partners. Try spending the day in bed naked with your partner. Hold each other. Read stories. Play games. Have a few orgasms. Just relax in each others arms. This is what life is about!

After the novelty has worn off and the commitment has solidified, the closest thing anyone will hear to flirting is "can you please grab me a beer from the fridge?"

If you haven't already, set up instant messaging accounts. Then, if you have a laptop and a desktop, initiate a conversation while your partner's in one room and you're in another. Let sexual tension mount and innuendos fly, and you're off and running.

When it comes to sex, role playing gives us more options; if you are normally quite reserved, you can live a little and be a bit more daring. If your girl is normally shy, she can unleash the dominatrix within. The personas we can morph into with erotic role play allow us to significantly expand our boundaries. Your girlfriend may not like being tied up as “herself,” but her exotic dancer alter ego might love it. With some creative role play, our rigid rules can change.

Delicious sex comes in many shapes and forms. Save the penetration for another day, and delve deeper into sexual play and intimacy with your girl with some of these activities. Challenge yourself by creating a sensual environment where both of you can try new things and practice other erotic activities.

Don't ignore a woman's feet, especially in between the toes. For some woman, these can be very sensitive areas, so much so they are ticklish there. Start by sucking her toes, then gently lick between them. Move your tongue all around them. Listen to her carefully for some women may find this technique to be too much.