Intimacy

Why do some people seem to get everything they want in the way of romantic intimacy, while others can’t get even what they need? Being sexually successful is not a matter of how you look, how old you are or how much you earn. It's more about your attitude, manners, and social skills.

Here are 10 common sense tips on negotiating your way to great romantic intimacy.

What's more important to you, all the time you spend working or the time you spend with your partner?

With all the stress we have in our lives, we need to just take some time for ourselves and relax with our partners. Try spending the day in bed naked with your partner. Hold each other. Read stories. Play games. Have a few orgasms. Just relax in each others arms. This is what life is about!

After the novelty has worn off and the commitment has solidified, the closest thing anyone will hear to flirting is "can you please grab me a beer from the fridge?"

If you haven't already, set up instant messaging accounts. Then, if you have a laptop and a desktop, initiate a conversation while your partner's in one room and you're in another. Let sexual tension mount and innuendos fly, and you're off and running.

Research shows that adventurous men and women have more testosterone (good for libido). You can amp up the intensity of your relationship by amping up the intensity of your activities.

That doesn't mean that you necessarily need to do something really risky, like skydive or punch out a paparazzi. But it does mean that adding a little element of risk to your typical Saturday to-do list will make you - and your relationship - feel a little more alive than usual.

I recently spoke with a woman whose year-long relationship with her partner was, according to her, "going great." They were "madly in love" and talking about a future together. Then, things started to change. Instead of staying at one of their apartments every night, for example, he began spending a few nights each week at his place. He had not met someone else, he told her, he just slept better sometimes on his own. If they didn’t spend the night together, she would call him to say goodnight. When she did, he would seem indifferent, even aloof.