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Ben asks for orgasm and masturbation help for his girlfriend. He tries to
please her but she says everything feels the same. She says masturbation doesn't
do it for her, so how can Ben help her learn to orgasm?
No Orgasms or Masturbation for Girlfriend
I've been trying to please my girlfriend by fingering her and going down on
her. But i am the first person she has ever been intimate with, and we haven't
had sex yet. I want to get her to orgasm, but am having difficulties. I'm pretty
sure i haven't given her one yet, based on your "if you don't know if you
have, then you haven't" saying. I keep trying to ask her what i need to do,
but she always has the same response. Everything feels around the same, no one
thing feels better then anything else. I've asked her about masturbation and she
says it doesn't do it for her when she's by herself. The thing that seems to
work best is stimulating her clit, but she starts to get almost spasms in her
legs, that get more powerful as i continue. Usually she ends up grabbing my
hand, at which point i stop. I don't know if this is what i should keep doing,
or if this is some problem i'm causing her. She has said, however, that nothing
i have done so far is painful. She has had some issues in the past about body
image, i think she has gotten over them, but maybe this is what is holding her
back? I know she enjoys what i do, but i want to help her go all the way. Thanks
in advance, Ben
Dear Ben,
It sounds like you're doing about everything you can do to help your
girlfriend orgasm and now it's up to her. Most women learn to orgasm
through female masturbation and how and
when she gets there is really up to her. Honestly, you'll probably have your
best luck if you back off and let her get there in her own time. You aren't
doing anything wrong, but anything she perceives as pressure will push her away
from the goal, regardless of how good the intent is.
If your girlfriend really wants to orgasm, which any healthy woman really
wants, show her our sexual
health site so she knows there is somewhere to find answers to any questions
she has about sex, orgasm and masturbation. Also, the orgasm and female
masturbation pages linked in the previous paragraph give great tips, techniques,
articles and advice to orgasm and masturbate. She can also contact
me if she has questions.
Thanks,
Abby
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