Sex Rx: Rule Out Health Issues
Talk with your gynecologist, though most of the time it’s actually our minds that get in the way of a fabulous finale, says Cooper. However, there may an underlying health condition or medication you’re taking that’s interfering with your good time. For instance, the clogged arteries that come with heart disease can restrict blood flow to the tiny blood vessels in your genitals; diabetes can blunt nerve endings. Hormone-based contraceptives, which lower testosterone, can also dull sexual sensation while antihistamines often dry up your natural vaginal lubricants, making sex uncomfortable. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor antidepressants (SSRIs) and meds for anxiety and hypertension are also notorious for depressing the libido so you’re not even interested in sex, let alone orgasm.
Sex Snag #2: You’re Too Distracted
Finding it hard to reach orgasm because you've got other things on your mind? Women are first-class multitaskers, and that holds us in good stead everywhere except the bedroom. During sex, if you’re thinking about folding the laundry, unpacking the dishwasher and whether you remembered to put carrot sticks in your kid’s lunch, it’s going to be difficult to get swept up into the moment.
Sex Rx: Learn How to Focus
Think of sex as a spa treatment -- a massage with benefits. Let’s face it, once you’re past the point in your relationship when you can spend whole weekends in bed with your guy (in which case you’re hardly thinking about laundry anyway), sex just isn’t going to last that long, says Durvasula. “Most of us can turn off our brains for the hour it takes to get a massage. It’s the same with sex.
Sex Snag # 3: You’re Unfamiliar With Your Own Topography
It’s difficult to know what brings you to orgasm if you’ve never explored -- or were perhaps discouraged from exploring -- how you’re put together downstairs. When we see little girls touching themselves, the first response is to knock their hands away because of some unfounded notion that touching means they’ll be promiscuous when they grow up. So very early on, little girls get messages that they shouldn’t be touching themselves.
Sex Rx: Get to Know Your Body
You’ve got to be familiar with yourself to know what turns you on. Learn about you body with these tips:
--Look in the mirror. See where your clitoris is in relation to your vagina and labia. This helps you learn how to touch yourself and guide your partner because every woman is laid out a little bit differently.
--Buy a vibrator and experiment with what it feels like on your clitoris. That’s a short-cut so you don’t have to worry about managing your hands, the motion and the pressure. Masturbation is the easiest route to get to know yourself without worrying about performing or pleasing your partner.
