Ask Abby

I've been married to the same man for over 30 years. From time to time during those 30+ years, we struggled with a humdrum sex life. Everything became routine. We made love at the same time, in the same place and in the same way. So when our love life began to put us to sleep, we decided to spice things up a bit.

If you are like us and find your sex life is becoming boring; you might want to try to :

Add a little danger:

The rising number of pornography sites on the Internet has often raised questions about the size of our sex organs. False expectations abound among teenagers and some grown ups. If you are a 'tape person' then 'Sex Numbers' should help you clarify some of these false notions.

Our average size apply to 85 to 90% of the general population. If you are different, write a comment or make a support group. Remember big is not always beautiful, in fact it can be painful for a female. Read on…

Male Genital Organs

The famous four-lettered word for sex has some intriguing tales of its origin, which are not necessarily true but all the same interesting. Apparently in ancient England a person could only have babies with permission of the king. When they had sex a placard hung on their door which said - F.*.*.*. - Fornication Under Consent of the King on it. Some others have said it is an acronym for 'For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge' and was used when someone was punished for 'prostitution.’

Remember prolonging your Ejaculation time to get orgasm requires some imagination and effort from both the partners. If you are able to hold a little extra there are good chances of achieving that perfect orgasm.

1. Indulge in foreplay- spend three times the time in foreplay that you spend on actual intercourse.

2. Don't rush, be relaxed in bed, if your heart is surging - lie back and slow down for a minute or two.

Intimacy can be an important part of many people’s quality of life, and the desire for it doesn’t always dissipate with age. Here are several things you can do to continue enjoying your intimate life:

1. Think beyond sexual intercourse.
   First and foremost, it is important to understand that intimacy has a very broad definition that encompasses much more than just “sex.” Holding hands, cuddling, or talking can help you and your partner to maintain intimacy even if you are unable or do not want to be sexual.
   
   
2. Communicate with your partner.
   

Leg cramps, problems catching your breath, overall fatigue, dehydration - all of these things can happen during sex. On top of these issues, you might suddenly in the midst of passion, think of all of your woobly bits - the parts of your body you dislike. Maybe, to make matters even worse, you realize the position you are in and your partner's perspective of your body. "Ugh!" you sigh.

Eye-gazing is a tantric secret from ancient India, and is also suggested by modern marriage therapists for developing deep sexual and erotic intimacy. The eyes are a window to the soul and make you transparent to your lover. This makes for better sex because instead of being distracted by the clutter in your mind, you and your sweetheart are completely focused and merged in one another on every level, physical, emotional and spiritual.

A recent study in The Journal of Sex Research found that both men and women in a long term relationship felt it was important to say those three little words after doing the deed. It makes sense that if both a man and a woman want a long-term relationship, they both understand that after sex may be a time of bonding and expressing their love for each other. Men who are in love might realize it’s especially important to their partner that they show their devotion.

Good sexual partners are concerned about how they’re doing sexually but talking about it can be tough. This system from relationship expert Dr. Karyn Gordon can help get the dialogue going.

Score it
When discussing sex, instead of just going for ‘good,’ ‘bad,’ or ‘nonexistent’, get specific (this works great with men). Ask your partner, on a scale of 0 to 10, how satisfied they are with your sex life? Ask what they like and what’s missing. For the record, couples with a healthy sex life typically rate it an 8 or 9. (Why not 10? Because there is always room for improvement!)

Discuss It

You’ve probably been told that certain foods like oysters are aphrodisiacs. But it really may have less to do with the performance of swallowing said shellfish and more to do with the fact that it’s high in zinc, which in turn can up your pheromones (sexy little hormones that make you irresistible to the opposite sex). According to registered dietitian Alyse Levine, other foods that contain zinc (which may also kick up your sex drive) include pumpkin seeds, eggs and spinach. So, zinc up before you synch up!