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I like trying lots of things with my boyfriend to make our love life more exciting. He enjoys when I lick or touch his anus. But I don't know how to
massage the prostate or whatever that is called. I really would like to know how
to milk the prostate, only because I know that my boyfriend would enjoy that very much! Can you please help me!
I will someday write an entire article devoted to anal play and
anal sex as it is deserving of far more than I will offer here. Until then though, here are the basics
of prostate massage.
The first thing that you must do is to talk to your boyfriend about this. Communication is important for all aspects of
relationships
and sexuality, but is especially important for anal sex. This is not one of those things where you can just surprise your boyfriend by sticking a finger up there,
massage the prostate, and then expect him to enjoy it. You need to have an idea how he feels about it and what his experiences are. Then you can decide together if it's something you want to pursue.
After you decide to go for it, the next thing you'll need is lube. Lots and lots of lube. There's a great saying in the adult video industry about lube and anal play. It says, "Too much lube is almost enough." The rectum is not self-lubricating so not only do you have to use a lot of lube at first, you also need to keep adding it. The best lube for anal play is either ID Personal Lubricant or Wet Light
or flavored sugar-free lubricants. Lubricants like baby oil or Astroglide don't last long enough for sustained anal play. If you don't want to shop online, be sure to get lube that is thick rather than just oily. For example, KY Jelly will work better than KY Oil.
Make sure what you are using to enter him moves smoothly and easily inside. This means you want your finger nails to be so short that you couldn't scratch an itch with them. The best option though is to use non-powdered, latex gloves. These will feel better as well as offer the same protection from STDs that a condom does.
 To actually massage the prostate, have your boyfriend lie on his back with his legs open and his knees bent. Apply plenty of lube and tease the anus for a while before trying to enter. Once you decide to go for it, go VERY slowly and communicate with him the whole way. You'll want your palm facing up and your finger should enter in a direction towards his belly button. Check with him often to see if it feels good and if you should keep going. Any time you feel his anus clench up, stop right where you are and don't move your finger and allow him to relax again. When you get your finger about 3/4 of the way in, lightly curl it back towards you while touching the upper wall of his rectum. This
is where the male prostate is located, and a simple method to massage the area.
From here, there's no right or wrong way to massage his prostate. Try different things and talk about what feels good and what doesn't. In general, slower, softer, and lighter will be better than faster, rougher, and harder. If you don't have any idea where to start, begin by using your finger slowly in a motion that would resemble you telling someone to "Come here." This is known as the "come hither" method and is similar to
a common way to stimulate a woman's
g spot.
When you're done, pull out very slowly and even allow him to push a bit. Before you do anything else, you'll need to stop and wash everything well with soap and warm water. Yes this breaks the flow a bit, but it's very important. Also remember that anything that was near his ass must not go anywhere near your vagina until it's been cleaned. He may feel as though he needs to use the restroom as well which is totally normal.
Finally, don't use anything to mask the pain. Products like "Anal Ease" are dangerous because pain is your best indicator that you are doing something that should be stopped. Also, alcohol and drugs that impair
judgment should not be used while you begin experimenting with anal sex. I'm not opposed to the fun a couple can have while combining sex and a night of partying, but save it until you really know what you're do
when you massage the prostate.
—Abby
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