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About Orgasms - Faking Orgasms Article
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Faking orgasms... I have faked orgasms, but I try not to. I maintain that it is counter-productive, even without getting into issues of honesty. How is somebody supposed to know how to be good to you if you make it seem like everything is good?
I think I got better at faking orgasms with practise, and as I had more real orgasms during sex to model on. I made a point of never getting in the habit of faking, even if occasionally it seemed easier than working on real orgasms. I figure that good orgasms are important enough to not compromise. Faking orgasms doesn't properly indicate to my partner what could help me have a real orgasm, and also makes me feel mean for lying, and can make me feel less close to my partner.
I have faked orgasms for several different reasons. I was tired and wanted my partner to stop trying to make me come, but didn't want to embarrass them. I was shy about not having an orgasm. I knew I wasn't going to have one but wanted to make my partner understand that I still enjoyed the sex or whatever we were doing. I thought I was expected to come. I was satisfied and didn't want my partner to feel obligated to keep doing things to me.
Mainly it has been the last one. I haven't had much trouble having orgasms during sex for quite some time, and even before that I rarely felt deprived. The thing is, I don't always want to have one. I enjoy sex separately from my enjoyment of orgasms. (I thought this must be a viewpoint mostly limited to females—but people who email me disagree—right on!) Sometimes I am happy with the closeness and with having my boy inside of me. Sometimes, although I am happy and content, I am not that aroused and having an orgasm seems like a lot of work.
I don't know that my boy entirely believes that I can be completely satisfied without having an orgasm. I think he thinks I am being a bit of a martyr. I can understand how guys could be unsure about this. It must seem a little odd that females can have sex without being at all aroused, and furthermore that it can be pleasurable. Even further, that even if a female is excited and aroused about sex, that she can be satisfied without having an orgasm.
It is true that most of the time I want to come, but I don't think that it is fair to assume that an orgasm is the only measure of valid or good sex. I have to figure out some sex act that would equivocate this for guys.
I don't fake orgasms much lately. If I want to have one, my beloved is rather pleased to oblige, and good at it. Most of the time, I have an orgasm when we have sex. If not, he mostly notices and takes up some or other supplementary action. If he doesn't notice, and I still want one, I'll usually start something. It all works out. Most of the orgasms that I have faked have been at the beginning of relationships, or during the first few tries at a particular act. Mainly this is because during the first attempts at something I am unlikely to actually come, but tend to be embarrassed of that. Silly, yes. Also, if you aren't going to come, how else are you supposed to end a sex act without insulting somebody?
Every now and then, I still fake an orgasm. Either because of the above, or because I get carried away (am making lots of noise, decide to follow through rather than admit I was just making lots of noise for fun).
I have never noticed someone faking an orgasm to me, but don't rule out the possibility. It's not really that hard to fake a girl orgasm, if you are uninhibited enough and have a minor understanding of what is supposed to happen. My boy says he has faked in his life ("I was tired... It just wasn't going to happen"). I hadn't thought much about guys faking orgasms, though in a condom I suppose it would be pretty easy.
One of the main things that boy and I have going that saves us both from considering faking is that we both know that we don't both always come, and that that is ok. We let that happen if we want to.
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